Off the shelf, on to my tab.

Sometimes.. well actually most times.

Which is bad.

I stress myself by just wondering and imagining too bloody much

And I always

cause I wont stop thinking.


This will be no doubt but another typical teenage post but I feel crafty with photos on Tumblr. It does describe some of my emotion at times so I'm gonna try doing this pretty much how I feel about myself.


Through out my childhood, I was that tall, scary girl that noone likes. Even now as a adolescence, I'm still a loner.

I once had a bf, but he had too many 

hiding away.

Then soon, I went for my national services. We drifted and I felt even more insecure than ever.

I felt just like this.

Nothing could get me out of my thoughts.

No matter how adorable or how distractive things comes by me, I wont even give a fuck about it.

Cause all I know is..

and it's a fact.

I know, I have to get out of my head.
but it's hard..

I know myself i can be stronger than I think I am. So my solution is Expression.

it does help in fact, my mind floats off and never comes back.

And when it gets off hands, by all means.

having a puff.

partying/ rocking out all night.

-Drink till I forget where the fuck I am. 

yeah, simple ain't it?

But you see, I don't do this anymore. (In terms of smoking)

I want to leave that old person away, I dont want to suffer and make myself feel unwanted. To end my misery in my own world and thoughts.

I'm not as dainty and pretty as most girls are.

Nor am I the perfect woman you'll ever wake up to.

I am who I am, I'm different.

so then I followed what I'd like to be..

Okay, maybe not like that.. but I had blue hair too (:


But who am I to kid? I'm only cheating myself knowing that even if I became confident and strong again, I'll still be alone.
Most of them time, I've been so fake to myself.
So fake to others I meet online.


The real me, I love doing this

That's right, Black Ops alllll the way.

Then later, my fucking mind will just switch over, making me feel crap and lonely. A complete social outcast..

Noone wants to.. After I've lost that one person that I truly had feelings, I think to myself, 'there's plenty of fishes out there, but why can't they see me as a nice person rather than staring at my boobs?'


Then I spend my nights sulking and talking to my friends on instant messenger.
Pretending everything's alright. 


Sometimes I wish I can wake up floating away

not worrying about anything.. just float till I reach a land.
Maybe just waking up to this,

to a new day.

A new me.

To have someone next to me in the morning.

And have a happy life. I don't need the same experience I had once, I just want to be wanted again. To know why I'm still living without finding.


I maybe dating someone now but it seems like we're too far apart.

we're like this, most time when we visit each other.
But the thing is...

i hate this distance. 
i hate not being in your arms. 
i hate not falling asleep with you. 
i hate not being able to hold your hand. 
i hate not looking into your eyes. 
i hate not kissing you. 
i hate not feeling you on my skin. 
i hate not cuddling with you. 
i hate all of this. 

but you’re worth it.
 you’re worth every single damn second.

Sincerly yours,

Sarah Yong.